Last Dance of the season

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I walk into this ballroom

Unsure and uncertain

My last chance to unabashedly hold you

Last call at my favorite tavern

Masked ball of intricate proportions

Dimmed lamps for maximum misbehavior

A steamy, torrid affair really

Every Duke Duchess Lord and Lady worth their salts

Donned in jewels worth their weight in gold

Preening and contemptuous

As royalty should be

Mothers hunting me down with their school room escapees

Trying to end my bachelor days

Not knowing in my heart I have been married to you three years to the day

Standing at the balcony eagerly awaiting your arrival

Composed and stately with a condescending air

An effective facade as I watch many a chit swoon in fear

I see your carriage and my heart jerks in my chest

Casually I melt into the crowd and don my phantom facade

Tonight I am on a mission

With my heart on my sleeve

It’s you and me

The boisterous noise fades away

Wrapping me in an illusion of simply me and you

I hear the trot and fear that the waltz is upon me

I glimpse you again, fleeting thought, why so forlorn?

You look up eagerly and I fancy that you feel my eyes on you

My confidence shakes and I make sure my mask is in place

I loose sight of you and I stammer, Where are you?

There you are intricate mask from dances past

Deja vu has my arms aching

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Refresher Course

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I got comfortable

Felt invincible

Dreamt of being unreachable

Believed in my untouchable

Got arrogant almost unbearable

Completely lost my adorable

My inflated aura my ensemble

Orchestra of my rise playing to those who assemble

Never realizing the time to be humble

Not remembering life is a gamble

Turned out it was more than I could handle

Life snuffed out my candle

Told me to pack my bundle

Took all I had handled

Taught me how to be humble

Refresher course 101

You are not anything that cannot be handled.

Unholy War

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It’s an unholy war

When I disagree with myself

It’s an unholy war

You see, I have to live with myself thus

It’s an unholy war

When I have to re-evaluate my own stance

It’s an unholy war

When each of me has an opinion

It’s an unholy war

When it comes down to the wire

It’s an unholy war

When I agree to disagree

It’s an unholy war

When I lose the fight because I won it

It’s an unholy war

So when you see me frown it’s not you

It’s just me in an unholy war.

Regrets

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Regrets are like hair

Everyone’s got it

Doesn’t matter how much you wax, trim, thread

Shave, pluck or electrolyze

Those sneaky bastard will sneak up somewhere

Usually at a most inopportune time

And those sneaky one’s you never seem to get

Miss one here and there

But like hair you can control it

Mow the lawn, trim the hedges

You gotta know your lawn

Learn from it

To make something of it.

Fairytale Courtship

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He sent me flowers

Chocolates

Chocolate covered strawberries

He gave me affection

Devotion, loyalty and excitement

He courted me

Romanced me

Candle light dinners

Balcony serenades

Moonlight walks

Seaside picnics

Carriage rides on Rodeo Drive

Everything that is a fairytale

And then I woke up.

If i were smarter than you

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If I were smarter than you

I wouldn’t fall for every fashion trick masquerading as a trend

If I were smarter than you

I would indulge in the delicate intricacies of the Queen’s English

If I were smarter than you

I would have  self awareness, always, not in spurts

If I were smarter than you

I wouldn’t settle to be in my place, I would excel to create my reign

If I were smarter than you.

You See

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I haven’t told anyone you see

But I fear I am my parents daughter you see

I am scared because mama’s story is a tragedy you see

I was born by superwoman you see

I fancy myself to have her powers you see

Self confidence, sassyness and the ability to conquer adversity you see

The self-confidence that made you want to know her

And the smile that made you in awe of her

I remember the days of the black velvet heel mama

The sassyness that was your black heel step

When I looked up to you in adoration because to me you walked on water

Do you remember when I fought for you?

When I wrote letters to the senate declaring my alliance to you?

When I was ready to face the firing squad than be without you.

When I was taken away from you but you came back, gave up your soul to be with me.

Papa is your kryptonite you see

The only one who could and did make you mortal you see

Now I stare at a bitter mortal woman

One I fear I have no use for you see

Hollow eyes and bitter lips

You never fight for me anymore

Instead every day you remind me you see

Remind me of what I have lost and what i could be

For all I have is a memory to aspire to

No one to support me

As I step into the pitfalls of womanhood

I wonder in fear you see

Are my superpowers an elaborate ruse?

Am I having papa’s delusions of grandeur

Am I a one hit wonder

Am I you mama?

I am scared you see

With both you and my beloved papa in my blood,

Am I my own Kryptonite?

I miss my mother, I don’t see her or talk to her often enough.