Memorabilia of a wounded past

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Recently I acquired a new mantra,

“It’s not a good time”

It opened old wounds bandaged in achievement and accolades 

Like a deep ulcer that has gone unattended

I had a visceral reaction

Lashed out and reacted

I have thought about it now

Looked at the damage and prescribed a treatment plan 

Reminded myself why and how I am the woman I am

Took stock and refocused

Do your best and move on

Take responsibility only for what you are responsible for

Let the chips fall where they will

My Main Man Edward

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I know a special man Edward

You don’t know him, he is mine

I won’t share him, he holds my heart

He left me not too long ago on a new year day

I like to think with a twinkle in his eye 

And that smile that’s only his

I like to think because I left him too long

Went to blaze a path I thought

Only to realize he paved it for me

But let me tell you about my mischief man

My sweetheart 

My person

My inspiration and hero

His mischief couldn’t be held in heaven

He came back in Edward style

To champion new cause and heal old wounds

Welcome Edward

You are a special soul

Maybe this time I show you a thing or two 

Open letter to my partner 

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I am flawed

More than most

I am wary

Even when I shouldn’t be

I am difficult 

To my dismay I am

I will care for you

The only way I know how

I won’t always come to you

Forgive me now

I will fight for us

For as long as I am here

I know it’s a journey

Let’s go enjoy the view

Letter to my baby

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I love you

Simple to say but hard to express to you

I feel my love’s magnitude is lost in these profoundly simple words

I feel you will never understand how much I love you

When I say I love you

I mean my kidney is yours if you need it

Even my heart if you need it

I will push myself to see you achieve it

I love you for your toothy smile

I love you

More than I thought I could love you

Enough that even your flaws I love too

I have no other way to say but,”I love you!”

I have a Treasure 

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She is buried under my breast

Grows stronger each day

My best friend and partner

I see you moving in my womb

I feel you hugging my spirit best

I have no secrets from you

We can’t be parted

I love you Peanette

Today and always

Musings of a mature idiot

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I have loved and lost
I have cried and sobbed
Laughed and celebrated
Danced and skipped
Stumbled and fallen
With each step I gained a bruise
A scar maybe even a break
I gained character
I can let go of old and new hurts
Relish on the good times
I don’t miss you
Your representative though…
Give him my number

Remembering good days

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This summer I established a footing in my career
This summer I took a step to make it a profession
This summer I bought furniture from a real store
With delivery and setup
This summer I paid off my car and kept full coverage insurance
This summer I said no and slept with a clear conscience
This summer I took my first vacation and wasn’t broke after
This summer I let go and enjoyed being independent
This summer I realized I could do it without outside validation
This summer I will never forget
I met my grown up self, and liked her

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