Random thoughts

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As I sit here

On the bus going somewhere

I catch a glimpse of the one

When you see her you’ll know which one

With the curves that influence life changes

Break oaths and the tone of the ages

The one who makes sane men

Change life as we know it with a stroke of the pen

The kind of woman that influences matches

Inspires picketers and rioters

Starts movements and becomes an icon

I saw her today

She was at the bus stop waiting

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Beware of Don McGill Toyota!!!

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https://www.toyotaofkaty.com/

Life is like a city

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Most folks want to live on the upper east side

Complete with valet parking and butlers

Most can only afford public housing

Where you park your car at your own risk

We are conditioned to aspire to the midtown condos

Concierge trash pickup

Without the let me get your door butler service

We can visit all these sides of town

As long as we take the right road

Sometimes we need good friends

To remind us we are visiting 

Not staying long

I see you

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Sitting really still.

Holding the essence of your being in place.

Scared to twitch, breath or you’ll be displaced.

I see you.

The Stillest item in bustling train running swiftly through a bustling city.

A conspicuous stillness in the everyday commotion.

I fear you,

You are all of us on a bad day.

The strength you must master to keep from shattering.

Have you missed your stop a couple of times?

Are you on autopilot following familiar routines?

I see your blank expression.

I also see you frantically working to keep your shattered aura from splintering around you.

My heart goes out to you.

While I pray frantically not to be you.

I need you to understand though,

That I see you.

The world seems to go on around you even when yours has stopped.

The absurdity of everyday demands mean little to you!

I see and feel you.

My selfish prayer is never to be you.

Let me tell you bout my day

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So it rained.

“So what?” is what I hear you asking.

“So, my naive friend, my 40 minute commute on the metro bus turned into a 150 minute crawl as cars refused to move because God forbid they get wet!”

Ok, maybe I am a little frustrated, it’s Halloween surely I will make it on time to trick or treat with the minions right?!

WRONG!

I made it in time to catch the end of the wet adventure, find a wet ninja and a mischievous pineapple in good spirits with their chocolate breath and glazed eyes.

I am deep breathing because anxiety has kicked in. I call my cleaning lady because the house looks like a hurricane blew through and I can’t find toothpaste! Toothpaste! I bought toothpaste two days ago, two tubes, how do I not have toothpaste?!

My cleaning lady forgives me(it was a rough breakup where I ghosted her)for tying to be independent for a year and takes me back, ( she made me beg a little) I’m in tears ( true love endures ).Then I panic because the house is a mess and she will judge me! Which makes me flip my shit and try to fix it leading to my getting overwhelmed and getting crankier snipping at everyone before I take a shower, go to bed on an empty stomach and a very grouchy mood. God help me!

If I don’t make it, if I go missing, please look in closet. I’ll be the one cowering in the corner drinking moscato.

Stories from a struggling mum

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I have incidents that make up my life. I will share these incidents. I will exaggerate, obsess and wallow in my self righteousness because it’s my space, my release and my medium. Some of these are your stories, I will tell them in a first person voice. Let’s get started.
Peanette:

She is my everything. The reason I wake up in the morning. I didn’t know what to expect or even conjure up. She is perfect. Unfortunately she is also mine.

I get home expecting a hero’s welcome every day. I get disappointed almost every day. She has me hooked on those blue moon days when she comes full speed ahead at me with her chunky cheeks jiggling, dimples dimpling and arms wide open. Sometimes she will acknowledge me by raising her face up from her iPad (stop judging me) other times she won’t even twitch. Once I asked her for a hug. The gave me the Heisman and said, “no thank you.” I slinked into my room and sobbed pathetically into my pillow for two minutes. ( because she is almost two) then I realized she used that short phrase in context! My baby is a bonafied genius who is fiercely independent. I am raising the next Einstein.

Let me explain

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Let me explain why the soft and supple curve of my hip is not affected by the rigid stance of your opinion

Or why the smile on my face doesn’t waver due to the scowl you wield like a light saber 

Better yet why your huffing and puffing never has me out or breath

Why your opinion on my life choices, though shouted from the mountain tops has never changed the stripes on this tiger

Let me explain why you are a non factor when you dedicate the small factor that is your life to my existence 

Why your petty competition with Yourself lacks a participant in me

It is because I now understand you, you humor me and I love you

I don’t want you to change but in your rigidity, let happiness find you

Let disappointment motivate but never bind you

Look forward to and revel in the best version of you

Because in my usual fashion I will wallow in my soft curves, peculiar and wayward ways

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