I have a Treasure

She is buried under my breast

Grows stronger each day

My best friend and partner

I see you moving in my womb

I feel you hugging my spirit best

I have no secrets from you

We can’t be parted

I love you Peanette

Today and always

Musings of a mature idiot

I have loved and lost
I have cried and sobbed
Laughed and celebrated
Danced and skipped
Stumbled and fallen
With each step I gained a bruise
A scar maybe even a break
I gained character
I can let go of old and new hurts
Relish on the good times
I don’t miss you
Your representative though…
Give him my number

An immigrants prayer

Lord cure me of jealousy,
The jealousy I feel when they say they are taking a drive home.
Lord cure me of whimsy,
That makes me daydream of seeing my family.
Lord cure me of resentment,
Of working holidays because I have no one to spend them with.
Lord cure me of vulnerability,
Of wanting to hold on to mediocre advantage takers and users.
Lord give me the strength,
To hold on to my roots and morals.
Lord give me the hope,
That one day I will feel grounded.
Lord give me purpose,
Which gives me focus and determination.
Lord give me peace,
To know I count, I belong and I count.

A letter to the Children

I hear there is one every so many minutes,
Millions of potential born every day,
Just wanted to let you that you are not a number,
You are special to me and I love you,
I heard of you and smiled all day,
The thought of you just made my day,
Made me wish I could fly your way,
Hold your beautiful face in my arms and have the world at bay,
You have come to us,
A blessing sorely needed,
Through every burp and poop and throw up,
We love you,
Love you more than life,
We will forget to tell you,
This is the one thing you can take for granted,
We love you,
I love you,
With all my heart.

Smile

Sometimes in life we smile and bear it,
Avalanche after snowstorm after agony after torment,
Other times we can’t contain it,
Victory after blessing after joys after accolades

After life beating you down while you grin and bear it,
We may over celebrate little victories in the most inappropriate of ways,
Hooting and hollering and dancing even the occasional,
“In your face!”
We relish these victories.

Forget to be incapacitated by the daunting losses,
Unaware of a valid excuse to give up and walk away,
Forgive egregious wrongs,
And the villains who commit these crimes.

While folding like a cheap suit,
At a minor inconvenience,
Making those around us,
Perplex at our lack of rhyme or reason.

How do I forgive the man you broke my heart,
Never again talk to the man who broke my china,
How do I forgive the woman who stabbed me in the back,
Never again acknowledge the friend who ate the last slice of pizza?

Only lesson I have learned in my short long life,
Is to value what you have,
Acknowledge what you have achieved,
Love the one who loves you best.

Remembering good days

This summer I established a footing in my career
This summer I took a step to make it a profession
This summer I bought furniture from a real store
With delivery and setup
This summer I paid off my car and kept full coverage insurance
This summer I said no and slept with a clear conscience
This summer I took my first vacation and wasn’t broke after
This summer I let go and enjoyed being independent
This summer I realized I could do it without outside validation
This summer I will never forget
I met my grown up self, and liked her

Another step

As I welcome another year,
A good friend asked me what my plans were,
No big celebration came to mind,
Letting go crossed my mind,
Letting go of old hurts and grudges,
Letting go of past mistakes and judgements,
Letting go of of selfish wants and demands,
Welcoming new opportunities and joys,
Starting new chapters and making new memories,
Forging new friendships and making new memories.
Clean slate.
As I walk into this new year,
Clean slate.